I was at the library with my kids yesterday and saw an old friend. Someone I haven't seen or spoken with in several months. Someone that used to be a good friend but situations in the past have caused us to grow apart.
I had two choices. (Isn't it interesting that we always have choices? And that it's the road we choose that determines whether we grow or stay the way we are...) The first was to avoid her and not say anything. The second was to approach her and say hello. (I got that "sick to my stomach" feeling, which I always get when I know that I should take a risk.) So, I swallowed my pride, turned my fear into excitement and approached her.
I was welcomed with open arms! We talked for a few minutes and then it was time for me to take the kids home. I told her that I would love to catch up and asked if she would be open to having coffee with me soon. We made a date for this coming week! I turned to leave and she hugged me...telling me that she is glad that I said hello and that she couldn't wait to reconnect.
I am completely blown away at what happens when I put my fear aside and embrace the unexpected risk, head on.
Honestly, today has been a difficult day for me. I struggled all day, not especially feeling great. It was tough for me to stick with my goal of drinking the water and exercising. I didn't want to do it. I totally wanted to quit. And then, I started making excuses to myself, trying to "release me" from my agreement with myself. Excuses like...
"You aren't feeling well."
"You are too tired."
"You're too busy."
"No one will know if you don't drink the water."
"I'll do it tomorrow."
"I can always start over."
And, I almost gave in to those thoughts. I almost quit. I chose to do something different. I sought support from a friend. In the midst of that conversation, I started thinking about the times that I break the agreements that I make with myself...thinking, "It's ok. It's just me." I will go out of my way to keep my agreements with others but when it comes to myself, I often just "toss" them aside. Let's face it...if I want to create better relationships around me, I have to start with those closest to me...and that includes me. I am learning that my relationship with myself is just as important as my relationship with others.
So, what did I do? I just kept swimming...pushing through the excuses...to keep the agreement with myself. I drank my water and I exercised. And, I'll do it again tomorrow.
That feels amazing.
I am a POWERFUL, JOYFUL, COURAGEOUS and WORTHY woman.
Today, I drank water. A lot of water. And I exercised.
I can hear what you are thinking...how is this a risk?
Well, as a woman who wears many hats (Mom, wife, daughter, friend, housekeeper, taxi driver, referee, etc), I don't make time to take care of myself. It takes a real effort for me to actually put myself first. I mean, let's face it...to even sit here, in the quiet, I struggle with even taking some time to write this blog. There are many things that I could be doing...but I am sitting here, loving myself.
Yes...I am loving myself by making time for myself. On this journey, I am learning that I can't truly love others until I take care of and love myself.
Today, I decided that I would put myself first and step into a healthier lifestyle, both physically and spiritually. With the help of a good friend, I am embarking on a journey...to lose 10 lbs., eat healthier and to tone my body. I will exercise every single day. I will eat a more healthy, balanced diet. I will drink more water!
But above that, I DO LOVE myself....so I am going to be kind to myself, by investing time and energy into myself.
And that journey started today...with drinking FOUR water bottles full of ice cold water.
I am a POWERFUL, JOYFUL, COURAGEOUS and WORTHY woman!
I’d say it’s been a LONG time since I have written on this blog. Over four months! Yikes!
I have been on such a wonderful journey and I wanted to share with you about my next step in this journey. I’m calling it….18 Days of Risking…
What does that mean? That means from today until Aug. 8, I will be doing one thing everyday that pushes me…gets my blood going….scares me to death….something I have been putting off…
I bet your asking yourself, “Why would you do that? Do something on PURPOSE that scares you?” I’ve learned that only by facing my fears and pushing myself do I grow.
So, here is DAY 1:
I told my husband that I am fighting for our marriage. It has been no secret that we have been having difficulties. There have been mistakes and pain on both sides. And honestly, there was a time in the last few months when I wasn’t sure if I wanted it anymore. In the last four months, I have been on a journey, to discover who I truly am and what I really want for my life. It lead me to discover that I don't want the type of relationship I had with John. I want a new, different, healthy relationship. Let’s face it. Marriage is hard. Really hard. But it took two people to create the marriage that I am in right now….and it’s going to take two people to create a different, better relationship.
And, today, I choose to love my husband. I choose to fight for my marriage. That means I show up…every single day by using my voice, standing in my power and holding my husband accountable…and asking him to do the same for me.
And I am in 100%.
And the other part of today’s risk….sharing this with you all.
I will be updating this blog daily, so tuned!!!!!
I am a POWERFUL, JOYFUL, COURAGEOUS and WORTHY woman!